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Shameless A funny sexy and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary womanAt 43 years old Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17 She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues But she felt a growing sexual restlessness and yearning that wouldn't let up And though Pamela loved her husband and didn't want to have an affair she knew deep down that she needed much In Shameless she tells the story of how she found it—and not only kept her marriage intact but made it stronger than everIn this fearless memoir Pamela tells the story of her search for sexual personal and spiritual wholeness She explores in riveting detail what she experienced at the hands of sexual healers men who brought her untold pleasure and became her close friends in the processBut this is not just another sex book Shameless is also an account of how Pamela's journey healed her issues with food and body image and most important helped her weave the many roles that she played—daughter friend partner mother—into one fully integrated person It is a story about a woman falling in love with herself and a call to other women to do the same OMG I LOVED LOVED LOVED this book Read it in less than two days Amazing Recommended for any woman out there who is searching for her inner Goddess Amazing I was so disconnected from Madsen for the bulk of this book because she kept insisting that she loved her husband and yet she kept him at an unforgivable distance for months while she wrestled with her sexuality and her desires I would have been entirely in her corner cheering her journey on if she hadn't kept inventing reasons not to tell her husband anything Nothing Not a word Sexual fidelity isn't important to me never has been but honesty is non negotiable in any significant relationship I enter into and reading about dishonesty mixed with elaborate protestations of love and grandiose rationalizations about the difference between healing sexual touch and sexual fidelity feels unclean I found myself walking away from this book a number of times but I kept coming back to see if she'd finally bite the bullet and fess up to her husband view spoilerWhich is this a spoiler she finally did at practically the very end And he rose to the occasion with dignity and loving acceptance and none of the things she was sure he'd say were said hide spoiler To be honest reading this was like drinking sweet cool clear drenching water after decades of parched desert I left the book heartily hungry and upset with the kind of grief that Ms Madsen mentions in Chapter 16 The book simply came along at the same time I'm walking across my own heaving Tacoma Narrows bridge from a dark life of uiet desperation to some kind of unrecognizable life of vibrant resonance The book comes in two layers first Ms Madsen's life and second the deeper themes connecting her to many women and probably men The title reflects both layers The first layer was sweet but also something with which I have nothing in common I'm not a mother of humans and I have no wish to be I'm not a person who even wants to go to a spa I don't want to get naked with other women in a group discussion etc Full disclaimer I'm a GenXer I don't have the Baby Boomeresue need to reconcile the disparate parts of my life However I do have a profound disconnection between my mind and body not because of a generational thing but because of life experience especially early life This is something that I think many woman can connect to As a result for me I have so little sexual experience in any way that it's really just a source of grief So to read this book and witness its second layer was a Balm of Gilead to read the story of a woman who recognizes that something's missing that there's an undefined hole inside of her We get to walk with Ms Madsen on her journey to use her full female sexual energy access and restore her full sacral energy as it were I also really valued the strong appreciation here for marriage and how a lengthy marriage reuires change honesty vulnerability trust and sometimes stubborn downright dedication to each otherThe value of this book to women is priceless The value to men is in the learning of this idea that all humans I believe could do with a deeper exploration of their own sexual needsI consumed this book so uickly that I only highlighted a few uotations But these two in particular took my breath awayp 68 “It sounds to me like you’re a caged bird pulling out your own feathers to keep your mind occupied” Markus said That struck deep It was true I hurt myself instead of letting myself bep 128 I felt like I was being held by a force big enough and strong enough to contain all of me It was a catharsis I have never in my life believed that any one could hold all my energy No one was powerful enough for me to truly surrender to And here I was allowing myself that experience Very disappointing The writing and story wasn't bad and the intimate details don't offend me but what I was really hoping for was of an acceptance of body image not what I perceive as a betrayal of a marriage Why couldn't she just talk to her husband first before starting out on this journey She might have been able to find great pleasures experimenting WITH her husband not secretly with other men I feel bad for Gavin why change names don't people who actually know the author know who her family members are I try not to judge and I think I do pretty well MOST of the time but I just don't see how letting another man touch you like that is NOT a betrayal of your marriage Just because you don't have intercourse I just don't get it But to each their own if it works for them then that's their business But then again she made it public knowledge If Gavin wants to keep his wife I hope he can deal with it I know I coulnd't

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