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I'm Afraid of Men A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl and how we might re imagine gender for the twenty first centuryVivek Shraya has reason to be afraid Throughout her life she's endured acts of cruelty and aggression for being too feminine as a boy and not feminine enough as a girl In order to survive childhood she had to learn to convincingly perform masculinity As an adult she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything from verbal attacks to heartbreakWith raw honesty Shraya delivers an important record of the cumulative damage caused by misogyny homophobia and transphobia releasing trauma from a body that has always refused to assimilate I'm Afraid of Men is a journey from camouflage to a riot of color and a blueprint for how we might cherish all that makes us different and conuer all that makes us afraid

10 thoughts on “I'm Afraid of Men

  1. says:

    A short yet sobering book written with raw honesty and valuable insights of how we treat women and people within the LGBT community I was surprised to find myself gaining new perspectives based on the uestions that Shraya asks particularly with how we put men on a binary between “good”“bad” and the distinction between identifying as LGBT and being expected to have no boundaries I think i

  2. says:

    Sometimes I read 300 or page books and I wonder if I read anything at all Not everything I stumble across has to make me look at the world differently or teach me over and over but I want something memorable because it’s much valuable than a book that provides you with the kind of instant pleasure and happiness that you’ll forget about two days later This very short book not even 100 pages lon

  3. says:

    A vulnerable powerful examination of gender and masculinity from trans artist Vivek Shraya I’m Afraid of Men reminded me of We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie as Shraya uses her personal experiences of sexism and harassment to build a case for why we need to redefine and rebuild masculinity as well as gender overall She shares her lived experience as a trans person of color with co

  4. says:

    So am I Vivek Shraya has written a timely essay about her and the world's struggle with masculinity What we accept as normal behavior in boys is pretty unsettling when you write it down Femininity is seen as a negative in our world so if a boy displays feminine traits he is automatically denigrated She talks about how she was not accepted with either sex Boys and girls made fun of her; one creep spit on her

  5. says:

    45 Moving accessible important that's what this book is I loved it My only complaint is that it was so short I think this is a great intro ish level book on feminismWhat if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations and restrictions? What if you cherished us as archetypes of realized potential? What if you were to surrender to subl

  6. says:

    This was such a powerful book I must admit I knew very little about transsexuals and I had no idea how many different ways rejection impacted their perception of self and identity To constantly have to 'check' yourself as far as a 'gender meter' am I too feminine for this group too masculine for this group seems to me to be a burden that would be overwhelming Vivek is raw and honest about how life treats this commu

  7. says:

    A worthwhile sobering account of Shraya's own experiences with toxic masculinity and societal expectations of gender roles; hardly unfamiliar topics if you read a lot of this kind of nonfiction but Shraya's perspective as a ueer trans woman of color is a valuable addition to the discourse and I'd highly recommend this over a lot of similar books especially if you're looking for something short and punchy My only issue

  8. says:

    Tbh Vivek just isn’t in command of her material here The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I’m fed up of trans writers doing this I’m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female which Vivek does repeatedly They’re not interchangeable If you can discuss male privilege and behaviours you can acknowledge that female people exist We are not just non males Rea

  9. says:

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the extraordinary parts of myselfAs per her current author blurb “Vivek Shraya is an artist

  10. says:

    I would be lying if I said that the title didn’t have a huge influence on my intrigue in this initially however this book ended up giving me way insight than I could have ever guessed Exploring masculinity from the perspective of a trans woman through her experiences both pre and post transition Vivek Shraya delivers a very raw take on how misogyny homophobia and transphobia has impacted her life A particularly insightful part

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About the Author: Vivek Shraya

Vivek Shraya is an artist whose body of work crosses the boundaries of music literature visual art theatre and film She is the author of The Subtweet Death Threat even this page is white The Boy The Bindi She of the Mountains and God Loves Hair; and her best selling I’m Afraid of Men was her­ald­ed by Vanity Fair as “cultural rocket fuel” She is one half of the music duo